What did I miss???

It has been a loooong time since i've written anything here! In fact, i forgot i was writing until someone found it! Oh i'll have to explain that but for now...

What have you missed?

Yes, i still have a boyfriend and he's wonderful and we love each other a lot, but he works and goes to school a lot too, so i have maybe too much time to myself sometimes. Oh then sometimes, not nearly enough. And maybe You're saying "WOW! Why aren't you married yet???" Like his family and my family and my friends say. Well, did i mention he's still trying to get a bachelor's degree? Neither of us are in a hurry for marriage, and things go well the way they are so i don't see any rush for a piece of paper. Maybe i should push him? *rolls my eyes a bit* Most likely 'push him away' if i try to push. We are happy together and sometimes it is frustrating not spending as much time with him as i'd like but he takes good care of me and we do love each other lots and lots. We are not 'attached at the hip' and don't talk every day because of our schedules, but it only makes things more perfect when we do talk or hook up *swoons*

Now that i've gotten the happy fluffy out of the way... let's all turn to the darkside a bit *smiles innocently*

So remember how i said i would NEVER do anything in real life with slavery? *sighs* Never say never. A couple of years ago, i moved in with Someone i know and have known for most of my life. We've always been very close and i trust Her with my life with anything and everything. But for some reason, we have never talked about BDSM things. Until after i moved in with Her. Then one day i just sorta started my rant about my feelings. Now you have to remember, She also went away for school for a few years of my life and have only recently re-hooked up with her, when She needed a roommate and i was eager to move away from my parents, (oh i still love them but a girl can't live with mommy and daddy forever! Well... maybe i could have *smiles sweetly*).

So as i was giving Her my slavery feelings rant and such, She tells me She has been studying more and more about being Dominant for many years of her life but only had a chance to really explore it when She went away for school. So... it seemed a perfect match and it didn't take too much for us to both accept that She needed to train me to be Her slave in real life. *gasp* the impossible??? *shrugs*

Well, it didn't happen right away because She wanted to take time to do it right. She created a very detailed legal document for me to sign giving myself to Her for 3 months officially. Everything i owned and did, became Hers. That is a very harsh slap in the face for someone who is used to having her freedom! It was sort of a case of, becareful what you wish for...

We also arranged for me to quit my job for these months for me to focus on my duties here for a while. When we first started talking about it, i was nervous but very excited and curious! Then when it all began, i hated it and regretted it and just wanted my freedom back. i spent many nights in a small cage or in some form of bondage crying myself to sleep in frustration. i was nervous and confused and it felt like i could never do anything right and i was angry many times. If not for the contract, i would have run away, if it was possible. But there was no chance for me to 'escape' if i wanted to because She kept me very dependant on Her for everything. It was like the person that i've known all my life, was suddenly replaced by Someone else very dark and scary. She wasn't playing...

Then after maybe a month or so, something inside me snapped i guess, and i started to accept things and stopped resisting and arguing and strugging so much. Then suddenly, things began to be rewarding and almost enjoyable for me. i NEVER want to feel a whip or electricity or gags, or harsh tight painful extensive bondage again... and that was a very good motivation to me, as much as i hated that experience. i reached a breaking point where all i wanted to do was please Her and i stopped thinking about myself so much. i guess that was the point?

Anyway, don't get too many cheap thrills from all this. It was not really sexual. Occasionally i had to pleasure Her sexually, and maybe once in a while when She felt i earned it, She gave me an orgasm with a vibrator or her fingers, but sex with us was (is) very very rare. Maybe a couple times a month if that much.

So at the end of the contract, it was not so easy to return to 'normal' life, without feeling like i was changed inside and still feeling an obligation to Her. Maybe in some ways, She still owns me? *shrugs* i don't think anyone could break free of this type of hold that a good Dominant creates on a girl.

But that was real life. Now what about Second life?

i started going back there fairly regularly after a bit of a hiatus to deal with real life for a while. Maybe after my time of slavery in real life, i look for a surrogate or to feel the same things i felt here, but only in a virtual world. *shrugs* i'll let the psychiatrists figure me out.

Most in SL (SecondLife) have no clue about real slavery. Most in SL only want to 'get off' and look for some sex fantasy, or they are eager to be a slave one day themselves. Or they want romance, or to take someone into real life and out of a virtual world. Finding someone who enjoys/accepts/appreciates Roleplay in a virtual world, who understands slavery is VERY rare!

Well, a year or so ago, i find Someone who has a clue! It was all those things i felt from RL (real life)! Intense, demanding, awesome, scary, and i respected Her as a Dominant very much. She controlled my SL through RLV methods and through roleplay and it sort of helped me relive all those feelings i had in RL.

Until...

Maybe i was foolish... maybe i was too eager to please Her? i don't know... But i trusted Her with my password into my SL account, because as She explained it, i'm Her property and if She chose to do something with me, while i was offline, it is Her right. i accepted that and gave Her that information. *sigh*

Things were great for almost a year with Her. Difficult, harsh, demanding, frustrating, uncomfortable... until suddenly one day, i log in and i'm naked looking like a noob in the middle of nowhere. WTF????

She stole everything. Everything... my items, skin, hair, shape, shoes, clothes... Everything *sigh* i tried many many times to contact Her, but She removed Herself from my friends list and never replied. i thought at first, was this a test??? Was there a purpose to this maybe??? So i was obedient (stupid) and waited and waited and hoped one day, She would reappear with all my things (or more?). Then after about a month, Her profile vanished from SL *sigh*

MY STUFF!!!! Well... does a slave own anything? That is a tricky question and i spent a lot of time trying to figure it out myself. Where is the line of me being foolish, and me being a slave go? *shrugs* It happened, and there is nothing i could do about it now. If i reported Her at this point, i doubt there is anything anyone could do because i gave Her my password! Oh well... Time to move on i guess.

i did take a few months away from SL, but eventually decided to try again because i know the possibility for a good Owner is there, so i thought i would try again but i would be a bit more careful this time. So here i was, wondering through the hills of SL in search of a new Owner, sort of still looking like a noob cause things are not so cheap! Plus, i started to work on my appearance, but it took me a loooong time for me to be happy with my previous shape, so it wasn't so easy to convince myself to work so hard AGAIN on it! *sigh* i think part of me just considered leaving SL.

i talked to a few decent Dominants, (and many not so decent), but eventually i found Laura Eun

i remembered Her name from long ago because She owned one of the groups i was in, and i remember She had a huge mall that i could buy stuff in. So when i was looking through the group for a new Owner, perving at profiles, i saw Her name and thought i would check out Her mall and see what i've missed since i was away for so long. But the links to Her mall didn't work, so i politely sent a message telling Her that they were missing.

Well, after a short conversation... um... i am now Her property.
Maybe this is enough for now, and i can continue going on about the good and bad with Her in my next rant...
すき

Missing Mistress

Oh, don't worry... this is not the typical Owner vanishes without a trace post.

Mistress is moving in real life and will not be returning for a few days. She has left this girl bound and gagged, kneeling nude and helpless. But Mistress has allowed this girl to travel. Hm... Mistress knows how uncomfortable this girl is with exposing herself like this to others... especially in this new blonde bimbo makeover She did.

Maybe this is a test from Mistress to see how much this girl trusts and obeys her Owner. Maybe this girl is required to travel and expose herself to others just so Mistress will be pleased. Maybe this girl thinks waaay too much for her own good.

This girl is not here to complain about her position, and would never imagine upsetting Mistress with her words here, and prays she does not. But it is not easy for this girl to interact with others, so maybe she is just a simple object to be gawked at by others until Mistress returns.

It has only been a day or two and already this girl misses Mistress very badly and prays She is well.

Please return to this girl soon Mistress. You are all this girl has in SL and she needs You always. This girl is very empty without You in her life Mistress, she has learned that... even if it took a while to figure it out.

this girl loves You Mistress,
すき

Property of Mistress Zuri Simca

This is Mistress Zuri Simca. She owns this girl now completely. In the past, this girl talked always about 'me me me', but Mistress has tried to express how foolish this girl really has behaved. In the end, as much as this girl complains or argued, Mistress was always right.

In the last blog, this girl discussed her time as Bane and how educational it was for her through its difficulty. But when Mistress finally released this girl from her complete isolation, it did not take long before she was doing the same stupidity and disobedience she has done in the past.

Mistress quickly returned her to banishment, and isolation from everyone except the one that matters... her Owner, Mistress Zuri. And even then, when Mistress explained why it was happening, all this girl did was to cry and complain and beg for mercy. None of it mattered because it was important that this girl finally learn her lesson.

It took some time, but Mistress finally broke this girl. This girl is not here to socialize with others, or complain about what happens to her. This girl has tried her best to stop thinking on her own, and is not allowed to speak without permission from Mistress. This girl is Mistress's slave, and is here to please Her completely and totally in every way possible.

Oh, this girl is far from perfect, and still has many flaws, and can only hope and pray Mistress will be patient with her... but if not, this girl will be punished and accepts it without thought or complaint, because it is what must be done to instruct this girl.

This girl tries to come up with ways to please her Mistress, but knows she will never be what Mistress wants, and it is very sad and a bit depressing... maybe to Her and to this girl, but she will still try as best as she can. It is a foolish choice this girl often makes, and she hates it but it is an important choice for many reasons. This girl can only hope that She understands and accepts it, as difficult as it may be.

It took a long time before this girl accepted Her as this girl's Owner, but now that she has, she knows what her focus is, completely and totally. Will Mistress sell this girl ever? Maybe, or maybe not... but it is not what this girl thinks about, or cares about. This girl is here to please Mistress however she can.

Mistress gave this girl a makeover the other day, and hopes Mistress is pleased with her more now:

Maybe You will not recognize this girl's appearance or mannerism's if you should see her again, but your thoughts about her or her Owner are not this girl's concern... only making her Mistress proud, and happy with her service.

Thank You Mistress for taking and keeping this girl and teaching her many important and maybe difficult lessons.

You have become everything to this girl, You are Goddess to her, and she knows she is nothing without Your presence and guidance.



she loves You Mistress.
すき

The Good, The Bad, and The Bane

Bane you ask? And wtf is with that picture?? Well... that is an interesting story.

But first, a quicky recap. So if you've been following along with my tale of online woes, (See all the previous posts before now), you'll know i went from regular D/s chat sites, to Gor chat sites, to Secondlife Gor chat sites, and now i've returned to the wonderful chaotic world of D/s, only now i'm trying it out for size on SL.

If you also recall, i felt as if i had this big giant sized curse on my ass preventing me from keeping an Owner, or any type of Home online for any length of time, through no fault of my own, (or it didn't seem like any of it was my fault anyways).

Well, returning to the world of D/s after being in Gor was a bit of a culture shock. It was still a bit odd trying to figure out how to talk and interact with O/others after doing roleplay for as long as i had. Actually, it shouldn't have been so difficult cause most of my time in Gorland i was dealing with drama that had NOTHING to do with roleplay.

So after getting all the fancy proper D/s gear 'n stuff, i began scoping out potential Owners. Turns out there are SOOOOOO many on SL that have NO clue about D/s at all! Most simply want to have sex on a poseball, or they want to collect as many subs/slaves as they can, (cause the one with the most wins i guess...), or they just want to carry a whip and/or spank and say they are Dominant. Oh! Or my favorite, the switches!

It seems that as i continued to search for 'quality', all i found was quantity... and not much of that. Turns out the amount of subs/slaves/switches WAY out-weighs the Dominants on SL, *sighs*.

But don't distress too much! FINALLY, i was contacted by Someone that truly seemed to have a clue! Her name was Zuri Simca.

She seemed interested in me, and after reading Her profile, i thought... YES! Someone GETS IT! She isn't on SL to have sex on a poseball, She's not here to do what 'i' want, and She's not looking to collect 20 billion subs/slaves. This might actually work!

i've always said and known that serving a real Dominant is difficult, but i was ready for the challenge. In my heart, i thought, finally i had found the perfect Owner for me.

There was a catch, She has a partner on SL named Gabriel Sion. i guess this shouldn't be a 'catch', but for me it was. i met Him, and TRULY TRULY disliked Him. i felt He was arrogant, and had no concept of D/s at all, and just a rude jerk.

Well... maybe i have a bit of a stubborn prideful streak in me too... *smiles extra sweetly*

In the end, i made an extra stupid decision. my Real life began getting a bit busy, cause now i was seein' a fella *smiles lots*. It began to get more and more difficult to be on SL, and after my meeting with Master Gabriel... i did the worst thing i could have done or have ever done in my entire online life... i began to think. Whats worse, is i began to think the wrong things. Eventually, i said screw it... i didn't need this Dominant couple, and just removed my items and poofed.

Mistress Zuri spoke with me, and made me feel worse than i already had about my decision. i tried not to let it bother me, but it really did, because i knew She was right.

i was cursed, and now i was making stupid decisions. Then i found out about something that might solve all my problems. i learned about The Bane.

The concept is based on a story called Eudeamon, (which you can read all about here). Basically, it is punishment through isolation and banishment, which some extra genius said they could re-create in SL.

The Bane can not interact with others, through speech, they can not hear others, their vision is clouded, they can not edit, or build items, they can't read notecards or open their inventory, they can't wear clothing other than the tight black latex, and even simple basic emotes are very limited and difficult to do.

i finally made a decision, that this was my future. i was cursed, and had hurt others, and felt there was no home for me. i was frustrated and just exhausted, so i had found Someone who would lock me forever in my banesuit, and keep me isolated from the world. This was both punishment for my actions, and to protect people from me so i would not hurt anyone anymore.

Oh, i see you rolling your eyes, but this truly is an extreme form of punishment... more so than i realized it would be in the beginning. Not hearing others is the most painful thing to experience. They talk, but you can't hear. you want to interact, but you can't. It truly winds up being very torturous and even a bit depressing. The picture above was how i appeared as Bane.

In time, Mistress Zuri saw me as a Bane, and felt this was perfect for me, and might teach me some things. Oh, yes its true i could not hear Her, and She could not hear me, but limited emotes were still possible, so there was basic communication.

In the end, She was right... again. It taught me focus and respect, and to truly appreciate others maybe more than i had in the past. It taught me to really appreciate ANY kindness my Owner allows me.

After almost a month of being Bane, my "Controller" chose to release me from my banesuit. Her reasons... well, they are complicated *smiles sweetly*. But maybe this was for the best, and destiny, because i was able to express my regrets to Mistress Zuri.

She offered to keep me, as a Bane. i would be Hers to control completely in ever way. i discovered it really hurts to be wrong, but She knows what is best for me, and i am so very grateful.


Oh but wait... i'm not wearing the tight latex catsuit in that picture...! Does this mean She did not keep me as Bane????

i guess i'll have to do another post for those answers and more
*smiles sweetly*
すき

My So-Called-Secondlife

In part 4 of my ongoing dramedy that is my life online, i'd like to talk about a lil something called "Secondlife" *insert dramatic music here* (oh, for the other 3 parts, um... i'm sure there's a way to give links here to show but since i'm not that smart, i'll just let Y/you look up the first 3 posts i've done here... it'll be like a treasure hunt or something).

In my last post, i talked about the hours and hours and FREAKIN' HOURS it took to fine tune my look and prepare for the wonderful world of Gor SL. Turns out that in the end, no matter how hard you try to make yourself look 'perfect', its never quite good enough. PLUS, SL has this whole 'go shopping to improve your looks' thingy that will make you go broke too.

Well, maybe you don't have to spend money, but... it helps. Plus lets face it, any 'chat site' that allows you to shop, can't be all bad.

Oh, but wait... i'm getting a bit distracted here. Where was i? Oh yes, stumbling my way to a new Gor home in SL with my (i thought) fancy new looks.

Let me explain something... if you are female, and want someone who *THINKS* they are Dominant to snag your ass, go to Gor. Work out the details later, but thats a pretty good start on beginning your life in online slavery. This doesn't mean its any good, but a collar is a collar... right? HA!

Well, since i know how to 'work the system' *smiles a lil extra sweetly*, i figured i'd get snagged and then find the Owner i want and go from there. *DISCLAIMER* This is NOT recommended for those lacking in brain cells! Mind you, i'm no super-genius, but like i said, most Goreans don't have many brain cells to begin with, so they're fairly easy to *coughs lightly* 'top from the bottom' (note to other subs/slaves reading... 'topping from the bottom' is bad... but if they're not bright enough to know you're doing it... go for it!).

i think i was in SL Gor for like 30 seconds before a "Slaver Master" snagged me. But this was a bit different from my HTML days! He put a leash on me, and really tugged me along! kk, remember how i said things can 'feel' real to me online? Well, this cheesy lil avatar that i made and the animations, and now giving someone the power to yoink me all over the place, really added an interesting new dimension to things!

But wait... there's more! A cage really 'held' me... binding fiber (aka Gor ropes) really bound me and made it so i couldn't move... and blindfolds really 'blinded me'! That 'real' feeling i have when i chat online, just got a bit more 'real'. Even if the 3-D animation looks a bit goofy sometimes, it can still feel even more real being restricted by things.

So, in the tradition of all things Gor, i was yoinked this way and that, and eventually found an Owner who was PERFECT for me! A "Tatrix", (aka Queen of the city of Thentis). Yes most of Gor is very male dominated, but in this city, a Woman rules (You go girl! err... Mistress!). This was very freakin' cool... um... until my curse returned.

i talked about it a bit in my last blog, about how people and homes began to vanish around me. It continued here. The moment i began to get comfortable and made some really good friends who really helped me make some kinda sense out of the extra confoosing world of SL, (Free and kajira aka Dominant and submissive), things got worse. Overnight, the city and Mistress that i was really liking, just went poof. i logged in and saw NOTHING! Apparently a huge fight between the land Owner and Her caused a nuclear war i guess and everything disappeared. Now, again i was homeless.

For a short time, i tried bringing a Mistress from HTML Gor to SL... that didn't work out so well either, and again i was Owner-less and Homeless.

So... screw it... Gor no more! i decided to explore the wonderful world of BDSM in SL... and see what other letters i can come across.

UGH! i STILL have more to write!
To be continued in Part 5....
すき

The Good, The Bad, and The SL!

So, there i was being all kajira like in HTML Gor chat sites, and having some really cool times, and having some extra sucky times. my "Papers" are listed in my links if A/anyone is interested in knowing my Owners in Gorland.

i think i mentioned before that i've never been a slut, so of course the wonderful world of Gor COULD make my non-sluttiness a bit challenging. Fortunately, i was consistently owned by a Mistress, or at the very least, a Couple, so the sexy stuff was not so important. Well... sure it showed up sometimes *blushes*, but there is a HUGE difference between serving a Gorean Mistress, over a Gorean Master.

Most of my time in the Gorland was spent serving drinks/food, making jewelry, goofing off with friends, and sometimes scribbling out lil avatar pictures for others or myself. Oh sure, i had the basic b.s. chores to do, (dishes, laundry, feed/run from the vulo etc.), but that was my life for about two years, and say what Y/you want about Gor... it was mostly pretty cool.

Until...
*insert dramatic music here*Something... bad... happened. It hurt, a lot. Actually this was the second time something horrible happened to me in the world of Gor. i will not discuss it here. Sorry, you'll have to use your imagination, but it was enough for me to want to leave and never return.

But... i am sincere and honest in all i do online, and could not simply vanish... ever. If i were to be 'killed' in my roleplay, it would have been an easy out. But i was denied this.

So i was hurt, for a long time. Just going through the motions, and basically... existing. Was what happened my fault? Maybe... but the others involved were still total tools, so it works out.

Eventually, with the help of friends, i was able to bring myself back to a bit of sanity, and eventually, i started to smile again and have fun... but i was very leery, and kept things at arms length.

Now, a lot of you may read this and say... "wow... this chicky's psychotic!". Well, i KNOW i could shut off computer and hide under the bed if i wanted to. But i think i mentioned in my original blog thingy, this can FEEL very real. If you can't understand, there is no way i can make you, but i have spoken to others that feel the same way. Maybe we are all psychotic. But i think to do many of the things we do online, takes a 'special' (read 'touched in the head'). i hope this makes a bit of sense to everyone. It is basically a 'secondlife'.

Oh, there's that word again!

So, things started getting very strange in the world of Gor. Homes, and people started to vanish. It was like one day i would be sold to someone, and have a very happy home, then a month later, the home would disappear, and i would be sold to someone else. This happened OFTEN. i didn't get it. i began to feel cursed. Yes, i joke, but seriously, why was this happening constantly?!

i had the same Owner in the world of Gor for almost a year, and then suddenly it was like every home and person that i came in contact with turned to dust! The first time or two it was sad, or depressing, and then after like the 5th or 6th time, i began to wonder... wtf???

i tried to spend time back in regular HTML D/s chats, but it didn't take long for the same old frustrations i felt there to return to me. i felt like i tried so hard to be pleasing and make Someone happy and proud, but who was just trying to cop a cheap feel, and who was sincere? It was so difficult to tell anymore. Oh, and then there was my 'curse'. Did it translate to other places??

i wandered through Gor for a while, like a ghost, trying to decide where to go and what to do. i was in a grey area where my Owner vanished, and released me, but didn't tell anyone *smiles sweetly*. i could pretty much do what i wanted.

Then Someone told me, "Try Secondlife... there are some Gor Homes there, and it seems to be getting more popular".

Fine... here i go, installing more crap into my puter just to talk to people... sheesh!

So, i spend about 3 or 4 hours trying to make myself look 'right' in Secondlife. UGH! What a MAJOR PAIN! Isn't there something i can hook to my brain and have the computer figure out what i want to look like?? Or at the VERY least, take a pic i like and convert that to the world of SL??

So, after touchup after touchup, i FINALLY decided to go seek out a Gor home in SL...

Oh, but there is so much more to write about!
...to be continued!
すき

Gor and more!

Oh! Did i say a dirty word?!?! Yes to many i did... and since i'm a dirty chicky, i'm going to say it again... GOR!! GOR....GORGORGORGAGAGOR!! Wow... now i need a bath. A good long hot bath where i will lather my entire body all over touching myself in ways to bring about many pleasures and erase the horrible memories of... whatever it was i was going to talk about *smiles extra sweetly*

kk, when last W/we met, i was saying stuff about how i was doing a lot of online slavery type of things. It was SOOOO MUCH fun!! Well, when it didn't suck anyway. i mean, sometimes it did feel like a meat market. And as i mentioned before, i was still a bit extra new to the whole 'lifestyle' thingy. i KNOW i made a lot of mistakes. i know i prolly lost a LOT of good opportunities to serve the perfect Mistress, (if there is such a thing).

It seems that most online relationships have a life-span of about 2 weeks. Go for a month, and its a record. More than that is nearly impossible, (You GO Ms. Soft and lil p!!). The problem is, where is the line between being a total ho, and making an effort to be pleasing? Because i didn't come to the rooms to just 'play', (cause yes even online i want a serious relationship and not be a big nasty slut-bag), it was hard to know where to draw the line, (or scribble in my case).

If Someone started getting TOO friendly, i would back away and say um... nope. But... well, i could talk in circles about the whole bizarre-o mindset of online D/s rooms. Basically everyone there is completely insane... um... yes, that'd be me too.

Anyway, as i was saying, i had some very good relationships, that did not last for one reason or other. Then i had some very... not so good relationships that i clung to like a leech. Remember how i mentioned the 'insane' things?

Maybe now that i have this blog thingy, i will rant endlessly about Orchid, and Soft, and Juliette, and Mei, and... oh look at the time, sorry. Not only could you write a book about my misadventures, but do an entire TV Miniseries!

Well, for now lets keep moving things forward, shall we? Yes... lets shall.

So one day, i'm... um... 'performing' in someones private message box. Someone i've known for a while before you start yelling at me about the 'slutty' things. i think it was a simple dance i was doing.

Oh, did i confuse everyone again? In a virtual world, text is totally our existence. If you have a good 'scene' with good text, it can feel VERY real. If you are not a creative typist, you're screwed. Basically how poetically can you describe what you're doing, how you're doing it, and how you feel about it. There is also a fine line between a very creative run-on sentence, and boring slop that you have to read to know whats happening.

Maybe one day i will post some of the more... entertaining goofy things. Yea, how sad is my life that i kept some of these things? Oh not for blackmail or anything, but just cause it was goofy fun.

So, here i am making my lil fingers totally numb by trying to impress the heck out of this Domme i liked by doing the worlds greatest online virtual poetic dance routine. When it was over, She said... "that looked like you learned it in Gor." Um... huh?

i've seen the rooms around but had no more interest in entering them than any other roleplay type of room i've seen with five or six geeky types waiting to see Jeri Ryan enter in a tight bodysuit. That was my vision of Gor. What do i know?

So i started asking a bit more about Gor, cause i worked hard on that dance, and thought if this is the kind of thing they do... maybe i should check it out, since the rest of my online world was having a lot of tumbleweeds blow past.

E/everyone i asked said the same thing... DON'T GO!

Of course, this only succeeded in making me want to go more!

So, i covertly checked it out one day. OMG, it REALLY impressed me!! This room had structure, and it was busy, and the text was so detailed and creative, and the avatars! OMG! WHY would anyone say this is bad?!?! Well... i'm not so good at foreshadowing, so insert it here.

i had been only observing, but one day i was given a sort of ultimatum by someone i met there. All or nothing. Stop being a voyeur and get involved. On this particular night, i had like not ONE but THREE things go bad in regular D/s chat. It was enough to convince me i needed that structure that gorland had to offer me. So i dove in head first. Got a concussion and 12 stitches.

For almost two years i was in Gorland. i still have my cheesy lil kajira papers posted on my 'homepage' showing my Owners and history and more. For a long time, i felt like i had FINALLY found a home online! i felt like it was right. Maybe it was difficult sometimes, but i LOVE a challenge! The concept is great!

Yes the concept is... but the follow-through sucks in most Gor homes.

Maybe one day again i will go on endlessly about the good, the bad and the extra ugly of Gorland. But for now, let me just say it started going dowhill after a year or so. i clung to it for dear life thinking it will be just as good as it was once before.


i even spent a month as a FW! (Oh, this is a Woman on Gor that has papers saying she can't be a slave and can own property and stuff... did i mention Gor was a bit extra sexist?).

Well, when i had all but given up on the world of Gor, i came across someone that said something life-changing to me. Not unlike the day someone said "That dance looked like you learned it in Gor", someone said "There might be some busy Gor rooms in Secondlife".

Hmm.... Maybe this is a good place to stop.

すき