The Good, The Bad, and The SL!

So, there i was being all kajira like in HTML Gor chat sites, and having some really cool times, and having some extra sucky times. my "Papers" are listed in my links if A/anyone is interested in knowing my Owners in Gorland.

i think i mentioned before that i've never been a slut, so of course the wonderful world of Gor COULD make my non-sluttiness a bit challenging. Fortunately, i was consistently owned by a Mistress, or at the very least, a Couple, so the sexy stuff was not so important. Well... sure it showed up sometimes *blushes*, but there is a HUGE difference between serving a Gorean Mistress, over a Gorean Master.

Most of my time in the Gorland was spent serving drinks/food, making jewelry, goofing off with friends, and sometimes scribbling out lil avatar pictures for others or myself. Oh sure, i had the basic b.s. chores to do, (dishes, laundry, feed/run from the vulo etc.), but that was my life for about two years, and say what Y/you want about Gor... it was mostly pretty cool.

Until...
*insert dramatic music here*Something... bad... happened. It hurt, a lot. Actually this was the second time something horrible happened to me in the world of Gor. i will not discuss it here. Sorry, you'll have to use your imagination, but it was enough for me to want to leave and never return.

But... i am sincere and honest in all i do online, and could not simply vanish... ever. If i were to be 'killed' in my roleplay, it would have been an easy out. But i was denied this.

So i was hurt, for a long time. Just going through the motions, and basically... existing. Was what happened my fault? Maybe... but the others involved were still total tools, so it works out.

Eventually, with the help of friends, i was able to bring myself back to a bit of sanity, and eventually, i started to smile again and have fun... but i was very leery, and kept things at arms length.

Now, a lot of you may read this and say... "wow... this chicky's psychotic!". Well, i KNOW i could shut off computer and hide under the bed if i wanted to. But i think i mentioned in my original blog thingy, this can FEEL very real. If you can't understand, there is no way i can make you, but i have spoken to others that feel the same way. Maybe we are all psychotic. But i think to do many of the things we do online, takes a 'special' (read 'touched in the head'). i hope this makes a bit of sense to everyone. It is basically a 'secondlife'.

Oh, there's that word again!

So, things started getting very strange in the world of Gor. Homes, and people started to vanish. It was like one day i would be sold to someone, and have a very happy home, then a month later, the home would disappear, and i would be sold to someone else. This happened OFTEN. i didn't get it. i began to feel cursed. Yes, i joke, but seriously, why was this happening constantly?!

i had the same Owner in the world of Gor for almost a year, and then suddenly it was like every home and person that i came in contact with turned to dust! The first time or two it was sad, or depressing, and then after like the 5th or 6th time, i began to wonder... wtf???

i tried to spend time back in regular HTML D/s chats, but it didn't take long for the same old frustrations i felt there to return to me. i felt like i tried so hard to be pleasing and make Someone happy and proud, but who was just trying to cop a cheap feel, and who was sincere? It was so difficult to tell anymore. Oh, and then there was my 'curse'. Did it translate to other places??

i wandered through Gor for a while, like a ghost, trying to decide where to go and what to do. i was in a grey area where my Owner vanished, and released me, but didn't tell anyone *smiles sweetly*. i could pretty much do what i wanted.

Then Someone told me, "Try Secondlife... there are some Gor Homes there, and it seems to be getting more popular".

Fine... here i go, installing more crap into my puter just to talk to people... sheesh!

So, i spend about 3 or 4 hours trying to make myself look 'right' in Secondlife. UGH! What a MAJOR PAIN! Isn't there something i can hook to my brain and have the computer figure out what i want to look like?? Or at the VERY least, take a pic i like and convert that to the world of SL??

So, after touchup after touchup, i FINALLY decided to go seek out a Gor home in SL...

Oh, but there is so much more to write about!
...to be continued!
すき