kk, when last W/we met, i was saying stuff about how i was doing a lot of online slavery type of things. It was SOOOO MUCH fun!! Well, when it didn't suck anyway. i mean, sometimes it did feel like a meat market. And as i mentioned before, i was still a bit extra new to the whole 'lifestyle' thingy. i KNOW i made a lot of mistakes. i know i prolly lost a LOT of good opportunities to serve the perfect Mistress, (if there is such a thing).
It seems that most online relationships have a life-span of about 2 weeks. Go for a month, and its a record. More than that is nearly impossible, (You GO Ms. Soft and lil p!!). The problem is, where is the line between being a total ho, and making an effort to be pleasing? Because i didn't come to the rooms to just 'play', (cause yes even online i want a serious relationship and not be a big nasty slut-bag), it was hard to know where to draw the line, (or scribble in my case).
If Someone started getting TOO friendly, i would back away and say um... nope. But... well, i could talk in circles about the whole bizarre-o mindset of online D/s rooms. Basically everyone there is completely insane... um... yes, that'd be me too.
Anyway, as i was saying, i had some very good relationships, that did not last for one reason or other. Then i had some very... not so good relationships that i clung to like a leech. Remember how i mentioned the 'insane' things?
Maybe now that i have this blog thingy, i will rant endlessly about Orchid, and Soft, and Juliette, and Mei, and... oh look at the time, sorry. Not only could you write a book about my misadventures, but do an entire TV Miniseries!
Well, for now lets keep moving things forward, shall we? Yes... lets shall.
So one day, i'm... um... 'performing' in someones private message box. Someone i've known for a while before you start yelling at me about the 'slutty' things. i think it was a simple dance i was doing.
Oh, did i confuse everyone again? In a virtual world, text is totally our existence. If you have a good 'scene' with good text, it can feel VERY real. If you are not a creative typist, you're screwed. Basically how poetically can you describe what you're doing, how you're doing it, and how you feel about it. There is also a fine line between a very creative run-on sentence, and boring slop that you have to read to know whats happening.
Maybe one day i will post some of the more... entertaining goofy things. Yea, how sad is my life that i kept some of these things? Oh not for blackmail or anything, but just cause it was goofy fun.
So, here i am making my lil fingers totally numb by trying to impress the heck out of this Domme i liked by doing the worlds greatest online virtual poetic dance routine. When it was over, She said... "that looked like you learned it in Gor." Um... huh?
i've seen the rooms around but had no more interest in entering them than any other roleplay type of room i've seen with five or six geeky types waiting to see Jeri Ryan enter in a tight bodysuit. That was my vision of Gor. What do i know?
So i started asking a bit more about Gor, cause i worked hard on that dance, and thought if this is the kind of thing they do... maybe i should check it out, since the rest of my online world was having a lot of tumbleweeds blow past.
E/everyone i asked said the same thing... DON'T GO!
Of course, this only succeeded in making me want to go more!
So, i covertly checked it out one day. OMG, it REALLY impressed me!! This room had structure, and it was busy, and the text was so detailed and creative, and the avatars! OMG! WHY would anyone say this is bad?!?! Well... i'm not so good at foreshadowing, so insert it here.
i had been only observing, but one day i was given a sort of ultimatum by someone i met there. All or nothing. Stop being a voyeur and get involved. On this particular night, i had like not ONE but THREE things go bad in regular D/s chat. It was enough to convince me i needed that structure that gorland had to offer me. So i dove in head first. Got a concussion and 12 stitches.
For almost two years i was in Gorland. i still have my cheesy lil kajira papers posted on my 'homepage' showing my Owners and history and more. For a long time, i felt like i had FINALLY found a home online! i felt like it was right. Maybe it was difficult sometimes, but i LOVE a challenge! The concept is great!
Yes the concept is... but the follow-through sucks in most Gor homes.
Maybe one day again i will go on endlessly about the good, the bad and the extra ugly of Gorland. But for now, let me just say it started going dowhill after a year or so. i clung to it for dear life thinking it will be just as good as it was once before.
i even spent a month as a FW! (Oh, this is a Woman on Gor that has papers saying she can't be a slave and can own property and stuff... did i mention Gor was a bit extra sexist?).Well, when i had all but given up on the world of Gor, i came across someone that said something life-changing to me. Not unlike the day someone said "That dance looked like you learned it in Gor", someone said "There might be some busy Gor rooms in Secondlife".
Hmm.... Maybe this is a good place to stop.
すき
1 comment:
Hiya, I hope there is no hard feelings. But if you're still cross about my teasing, feel free to look me up when you get un-banished. *winks*
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