Missing Mistress

Oh, don't worry... this is not the typical Owner vanishes without a trace post.

Mistress is moving in real life and will not be returning for a few days. She has left this girl bound and gagged, kneeling nude and helpless. But Mistress has allowed this girl to travel. Hm... Mistress knows how uncomfortable this girl is with exposing herself like this to others... especially in this new blonde bimbo makeover She did.

Maybe this is a test from Mistress to see how much this girl trusts and obeys her Owner. Maybe this girl is required to travel and expose herself to others just so Mistress will be pleased. Maybe this girl thinks waaay too much for her own good.

This girl is not here to complain about her position, and would never imagine upsetting Mistress with her words here, and prays she does not. But it is not easy for this girl to interact with others, so maybe she is just a simple object to be gawked at by others until Mistress returns.

It has only been a day or two and already this girl misses Mistress very badly and prays She is well.

Please return to this girl soon Mistress. You are all this girl has in SL and she needs You always. This girl is very empty without You in her life Mistress, she has learned that... even if it took a while to figure it out.

this girl loves You Mistress,
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Property of Mistress Zuri Simca

This is Mistress Zuri Simca. She owns this girl now completely. In the past, this girl talked always about 'me me me', but Mistress has tried to express how foolish this girl really has behaved. In the end, as much as this girl complains or argued, Mistress was always right.

In the last blog, this girl discussed her time as Bane and how educational it was for her through its difficulty. But when Mistress finally released this girl from her complete isolation, it did not take long before she was doing the same stupidity and disobedience she has done in the past.

Mistress quickly returned her to banishment, and isolation from everyone except the one that matters... her Owner, Mistress Zuri. And even then, when Mistress explained why it was happening, all this girl did was to cry and complain and beg for mercy. None of it mattered because it was important that this girl finally learn her lesson.

It took some time, but Mistress finally broke this girl. This girl is not here to socialize with others, or complain about what happens to her. This girl has tried her best to stop thinking on her own, and is not allowed to speak without permission from Mistress. This girl is Mistress's slave, and is here to please Her completely and totally in every way possible.

Oh, this girl is far from perfect, and still has many flaws, and can only hope and pray Mistress will be patient with her... but if not, this girl will be punished and accepts it without thought or complaint, because it is what must be done to instruct this girl.

This girl tries to come up with ways to please her Mistress, but knows she will never be what Mistress wants, and it is very sad and a bit depressing... maybe to Her and to this girl, but she will still try as best as she can. It is a foolish choice this girl often makes, and she hates it but it is an important choice for many reasons. This girl can only hope that She understands and accepts it, as difficult as it may be.

It took a long time before this girl accepted Her as this girl's Owner, but now that she has, she knows what her focus is, completely and totally. Will Mistress sell this girl ever? Maybe, or maybe not... but it is not what this girl thinks about, or cares about. This girl is here to please Mistress however she can.

Mistress gave this girl a makeover the other day, and hopes Mistress is pleased with her more now:

Maybe You will not recognize this girl's appearance or mannerism's if you should see her again, but your thoughts about her or her Owner are not this girl's concern... only making her Mistress proud, and happy with her service.

Thank You Mistress for taking and keeping this girl and teaching her many important and maybe difficult lessons.

You have become everything to this girl, You are Goddess to her, and she knows she is nothing without Your presence and guidance.



she loves You Mistress.
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The Good, The Bad, and The Bane

Bane you ask? And wtf is with that picture?? Well... that is an interesting story.

But first, a quicky recap. So if you've been following along with my tale of online woes, (See all the previous posts before now), you'll know i went from regular D/s chat sites, to Gor chat sites, to Secondlife Gor chat sites, and now i've returned to the wonderful chaotic world of D/s, only now i'm trying it out for size on SL.

If you also recall, i felt as if i had this big giant sized curse on my ass preventing me from keeping an Owner, or any type of Home online for any length of time, through no fault of my own, (or it didn't seem like any of it was my fault anyways).

Well, returning to the world of D/s after being in Gor was a bit of a culture shock. It was still a bit odd trying to figure out how to talk and interact with O/others after doing roleplay for as long as i had. Actually, it shouldn't have been so difficult cause most of my time in Gorland i was dealing with drama that had NOTHING to do with roleplay.

So after getting all the fancy proper D/s gear 'n stuff, i began scoping out potential Owners. Turns out there are SOOOOOO many on SL that have NO clue about D/s at all! Most simply want to have sex on a poseball, or they want to collect as many subs/slaves as they can, (cause the one with the most wins i guess...), or they just want to carry a whip and/or spank and say they are Dominant. Oh! Or my favorite, the switches!

It seems that as i continued to search for 'quality', all i found was quantity... and not much of that. Turns out the amount of subs/slaves/switches WAY out-weighs the Dominants on SL, *sighs*.

But don't distress too much! FINALLY, i was contacted by Someone that truly seemed to have a clue! Her name was Zuri Simca.

She seemed interested in me, and after reading Her profile, i thought... YES! Someone GETS IT! She isn't on SL to have sex on a poseball, She's not here to do what 'i' want, and She's not looking to collect 20 billion subs/slaves. This might actually work!

i've always said and known that serving a real Dominant is difficult, but i was ready for the challenge. In my heart, i thought, finally i had found the perfect Owner for me.

There was a catch, She has a partner on SL named Gabriel Sion. i guess this shouldn't be a 'catch', but for me it was. i met Him, and TRULY TRULY disliked Him. i felt He was arrogant, and had no concept of D/s at all, and just a rude jerk.

Well... maybe i have a bit of a stubborn prideful streak in me too... *smiles extra sweetly*

In the end, i made an extra stupid decision. my Real life began getting a bit busy, cause now i was seein' a fella *smiles lots*. It began to get more and more difficult to be on SL, and after my meeting with Master Gabriel... i did the worst thing i could have done or have ever done in my entire online life... i began to think. Whats worse, is i began to think the wrong things. Eventually, i said screw it... i didn't need this Dominant couple, and just removed my items and poofed.

Mistress Zuri spoke with me, and made me feel worse than i already had about my decision. i tried not to let it bother me, but it really did, because i knew She was right.

i was cursed, and now i was making stupid decisions. Then i found out about something that might solve all my problems. i learned about The Bane.

The concept is based on a story called Eudeamon, (which you can read all about here). Basically, it is punishment through isolation and banishment, which some extra genius said they could re-create in SL.

The Bane can not interact with others, through speech, they can not hear others, their vision is clouded, they can not edit, or build items, they can't read notecards or open their inventory, they can't wear clothing other than the tight black latex, and even simple basic emotes are very limited and difficult to do.

i finally made a decision, that this was my future. i was cursed, and had hurt others, and felt there was no home for me. i was frustrated and just exhausted, so i had found Someone who would lock me forever in my banesuit, and keep me isolated from the world. This was both punishment for my actions, and to protect people from me so i would not hurt anyone anymore.

Oh, i see you rolling your eyes, but this truly is an extreme form of punishment... more so than i realized it would be in the beginning. Not hearing others is the most painful thing to experience. They talk, but you can't hear. you want to interact, but you can't. It truly winds up being very torturous and even a bit depressing. The picture above was how i appeared as Bane.

In time, Mistress Zuri saw me as a Bane, and felt this was perfect for me, and might teach me some things. Oh, yes its true i could not hear Her, and She could not hear me, but limited emotes were still possible, so there was basic communication.

In the end, She was right... again. It taught me focus and respect, and to truly appreciate others maybe more than i had in the past. It taught me to really appreciate ANY kindness my Owner allows me.

After almost a month of being Bane, my "Controller" chose to release me from my banesuit. Her reasons... well, they are complicated *smiles sweetly*. But maybe this was for the best, and destiny, because i was able to express my regrets to Mistress Zuri.

She offered to keep me, as a Bane. i would be Hers to control completely in ever way. i discovered it really hurts to be wrong, but She knows what is best for me, and i am so very grateful.


Oh but wait... i'm not wearing the tight latex catsuit in that picture...! Does this mean She did not keep me as Bane????

i guess i'll have to do another post for those answers and more
*smiles sweetly*
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